You can’t be successful at building and creating something unique without getting vulnerable. You can’t grow and thrive without vulnerability. There is a reason Brené Brown’s 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks in the world. I highly recommend watching it if you haven’t and rewatching it if you have.
In Module 1 we discussed how important it is to get to know your values and philosophies. We want to enhance that conversation by talking about vulnerability. You can’t discover your “why” or purpose without getting vulnerable. We have to allow ourselves to be seen and the more we are seen through being vulnerable, the more confidence we gain.
Why is it so hard to be vulnerable?
Being vulnerable is hard and we are often afraid because we think we will be judged or say something someone won’t like. It is human nature to desperately want to be liked. However, we have to be seen to make genuine connections with people and making connections with our clients is the most important part of being in private practice.
We often hide from being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there because it feels uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to express your opinions, talk about your emotions or what you are passionate about when you aren’t sure how people are going to respond. However, if you are always just comfortable you can never get to the next level and be fully authentic which is what set us apart from others.
Here are some steps you can take to grow from being more vulnerable:
Do the work to develop a deeper understanding of yourself.
Revisit Module 1 if you need to evaluate your values.
Give yourself more respect. All experiences are an opportunity to learn so if something doesn’t go the way you planned have self-compassion and use kind language to yourself.
Other people will gain more respect for you when you gain more respect for you.
Start expressing exactly what you are thinking.
If someone asks, “How are you today?” Don’t simply respond with, “I’m fine, how are you?”
This is an auto pilot response. Instead, use this as an opportunity to practice vulnerability. For example, “I am feeling calm and refreshed today so I am able to be creative in a project.” or “I am feeling anxious today as I have 2 deadlines approaching and I need to improve my time management skills.”
This is a simple exercise that can make you more present and aware of how you are really feeling.
Accept that not everyone will agree with you or like what you say.
As you start to operate from your most authentic self, you inevitably will not be able to please everyone and that’s ok.
Embrace imperfection and know you will make mistakes. This is ok too.
Most importantly it is an opportunity to gain more confidence in your truth.
Stop trying to control everything.
This will backfire as perfectionism doesn’t exist.
Being vulnerable means you are willing to accept that you don’t have it all figured out. Fully believe what you are doing today is enough.
1. Ask yourself: what are actions in your business that scares you the most?
(e.g. Being a podcast guest)
2. Commit to taking one step this week toward facing those fears.
Reach out via email to several of your favorite podcast hosts asking if they are accepting new guests.
3. What is an area of your business that you could ask for help in that has not been working out or has stalled? Identify these as areas that you may need to invest in help on.
Which experts can you reach out to for more information on how they can help?
4. Start asking others how they are feeling or doing. When they ask you how you are feeling in response, practice vulnerability by answering how you are really feeling in that moment.
Acknowledge and appreciate how these honest exchanges between you and others make you feel.